Review: Shoot ‘Em Up
Released in 2007, Shoot ‘Em Up is about…well, it’s the story of…
It’s basically the most explicit demonstration that all you need to sell a film is violence and sex, and I just can’t tell if it’s a brilliant commentary and tongue-in-cheek homage to action films or if it’s just a stupid, stupid movie. Honestly, I’m split 50-50, and I’ll tell you why.
Let’s start with the second option because I’d like to end the review on a positive note. So, ahem, thesis number one: Shoot ‘Em Up is a stupid, stupid movie. Clearly, the movie relies on stylized violence and constant sexual innuendos, more often than not combining the two, including a “love” scene between Mr. Smith (Clive Owen, smooth and cool as usual) and DQ (Monica Belluci, sultry and seductive as usual) that starts as pure sex before, ahem, exploding in an orgasm of violence. Smith never breaks his…stride, finishing off several henchmen before…finishing off DQ. What a man.
The plot is almost capable of inducing a brain aneurysm if you think about it for too long. The villain (Paul Giamatti, whose character name I can’t even remember — another detractor) is so outlandish and over-the-top that he borders on annoyingly prescient with his ability to always, always track down Mr. Smith and show up where he is. And I’d say absolutely every scene contains some line of dialog that’s an innuendo of some sort, and I was completely expecting a round of “that’s what she said” lines to occupy the…climax of the film. Sorry, but after seeing this film, I just can’t help myself. Let’s not forget to mention Mr. Smith’s love of huge carrots, ceaselessly…whipping them out to either eat or kill with, plus the constant references to guns as penises.
But wait…the film doesn’t forget to mention that either. The villain and his gun-manufacturing boss (Stephen McHattie, another great villain — watch A History of Violence to see him team up with another Shoot ‘Em Up cast member, Greg Byrk, to form one creepy crime duo) have a quick but entertaining discussion about the link between guns and the male anatomy. McHattie’s character dismisses the idea as silly psycho-babble, but with the film’s obvious obsession with it, we’re left to ponder the implications of this idea. The film is very conscious of its obsession with the phallus, that’s for sure.
It also includes nearly every action movie cliche or staple you can think of. I’ve never seen a gun and its bullets used for so many random tasks before. What can’t you do with a gun? I bet Mr. Smith’s going to be flipping pancakes with his 9 for his sweetie DQ. I found myself laughing at every stunt, less and less because I thought it was stupid, more and more because it was successfully poking fun at other movies that might claim an air of sophistication (Casino Royale and the forthcoming Quantum of Solace come to mind). Shoot ‘Em Up is an action movie about action movies. The stunts are not only fun, they’re pretty damn cool. The effects leave something to be desired, particularly the baby (in many scenes it is computer generated, and it’s obviousness is cringe-worthy). Plus, the whole idea that the baby survives everything it goes through is yet another fun poke at action movies.
But ultimately, you can’t call this film brilliant. It’s really good at pointing out the absurdities of the action film and the relation of guns, violence, and heterosexual screwing to masculinity, but it offers no actual commentary. It just lays them out, says, “Isn’t this silly?”, and then says, “So we’ll just do it over and over again.” We get it. So what?
So what. It’s fun. There’re other movies to do that “thinking” stuff. Now where’s my Gloch? I want some flapjacks.
